


In This Beginning

by LNJames



Series: Suddenly Everything Has Changed [12]
Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-21
Updated: 2019-01-21
Packaged: 2019-10-14 03:39:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 795
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17500835
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LNJames/pseuds/LNJames
Summary: просыпайсяSeason 4 re-imagined. Canon-ish with liberties and justice for all.





	In This Beginning

_One Mississippi._

_Two Mississippi._

_Three Mississippi._

There is nothing. No sound. No light. Only a deep darkness that is everlasting. This is a time before fathoming. This is Krypton’s void. This is the Phantom Zone. This is the Abyss. This is you.

You. Second person. Not Kara. You have no name, no history, no purpose.

_Wake up._

You begin to exist. In your mind, you are maybe something. You must be something because your eyes open and there are pinpoints of light far above you, in patterns that you recognize but can’t name. You must be something because you see yourself now, in the darkness, pink and newborn and fully formed. This is your hand. This is your heart. This is you.

You could walk forever on your coltish legs in the blinding snow and darkness and bitter cold because you feel nothing. Your body feels nothing and inside you feel nothing. You are a blank slate wrapped in an old piece of fabric following the lights not in the sky but on the desolate, hard ground. You have been walking for as long as you can remember because you remember very little, maybe nothing at all, maybe everything. When the void in front of you ends, you blink into the light. Your ears are filled with high-pitched sounds.

You are no longer alone.

You are taught words, sounds your mouth makes but your tongue doesn’t recognize. You are given a place to exist, among others not like you. No one is like you here, whatever you are. You are other and are treated as such and know no other way. Your body becomes theirs and they train it, they mold it, they..use..it. You become a tool, you become a weapon, you become whatever it is you are supposed to be. If you knew what that was, you might wonder. Instead, you exist and day after day you become stronger than you already are.

Now you are underground, now you are something. You are a machine. Your hands have purpose. You can break, you can bend. This is you becoming you or the only version of you that you know because your fists are like hammers and your body is a blade that slices through miles of rock and earth and you feel alive. You have meaning, you have purpose. You have been given this and when you have nothing, are nothing, you take what you can get.

Sickness came and your body felt pain for the first time, felt weakness, felt like something that was not yours. Inside of you, in your heart, you felt a sharpness, a burning, a tearing apart at the seams. Each breath felt like inhaling fire, knives, glass. You fell to your knees. You fell. You fell until everything went dark around you. You stopped breathing, you stopped being, you were silent again.

_Wake up._

You were built for this. You were built to exist in the void of nothingness, suspended and waiting, because you are stronger than you realize. Your mind is your best weapon and you use it. You stare at the gray walls around you, tight around your body, holding you inside. Safe. You focus on not being. You focus on nothing. You are nothing. You create a phantom zone inside your heart. You waited for the end or the beginning, whatever came next. When the walls dropped, your mouth spoke the only thing your body knew.

_“могу я вернуться к тренировкам.”_

Your days are filled. You carry the weight of a thousand men or more. You crush everything given to you in your hands, bending steel, pulverizing concrete. Only you know what your hands could do, if given the freedom. The others watch and wonder and give you new things to try. You jump higher. You run faster. You fly. You fly and fly and if there is one thing that brings you something other than the nothingness in your heart, it is the air. It is something and it is yours and yours alone.

You keep it to yourself.

You keep this feeling behind the wall of your face and the look in your eye. You keep it tucked deep inside between your ribs. You have a hiding place for the things that are yours. It is a golden room and it glows inside you. You have a secret locked in the box of your heart. There is a key and your new purpose is to find it. Your tongue forms a word for what was missing until now. You practice an ancient language your mouth misses.

_Shahrrehth. Shahrrehth. Shahrrehth. Shahrrehth. Shahrrehth. Shahrrehth. Shahrrehth._

Until then, you are a machine, you are a vessel, you are a weapon. Second person. Not Kara.


End file.
